This is Carrie.
We are soul sisters, in the sense that we didn't have each other growing up through our childhood years, when having a sister/best friend at your disposal
would have eased all those moments of insecurity and loneliness,
and, yes, aggravated all those other times when you wished you were alone.
We inherited each other when our parents found each other. We met each other a week before their wedding at a buffet restaurant. At first I was guarded; I didn't think these people would care about me or my family, much less have anything to do with us.
They had their own lives to focus on; Carrie lived in Maryland, so I figured I would never see her except Thanksgiving or Christmas. And Scott, our brother, had his own family thing going on.
So, I thought this was just a
"here's more people we're adding to our lives, thought you might
want to meet them, have a nice life" meeting.
Little did I know that there was a void place in my life that needed to be filled,
and Carrie was just the person to fill it.
We've been sisters for 10 years now.
In the beginning, it was difficult to establish any kind of bond with her, since she did live so far away from me. But, then she moved to Florida.
First, she was still not close enough to establish a true bond, but we did visit her a couple of time when we made trips to Orlando. (Those of you who know me know this is at least once a year) She was always really sweet to my boys, and they attached to her very easily.
When we would see her for holidays and such, they would flock to her
for kisses and hugs and then sit next to her (or on her) when she was near.
I really felt our bond become stronger when she started going through some rough times, but at this point, it was only a one-way thing. We still weren't close enough for me to smack some sense into her and whisk her away from all her troubles, but that's how I felt,
and sometimes wonder if I should have done it anyway.
She just kept getting deeper and deeper into a pit of darkness, I wanted to shroud her
with love and strength, and make her see that she was better than all that stuff.
She was searching, too. She needed something, and no matter how hard she tried,
she was looking in the wrong places and making choices that were hard to live with.
Finally, she moved here, within 2 miles of me. We finally got to be closer emotionally.
She became really involved with me through the boys' activities, especially Aaron's baseball.
I was the team mom and she was the team aunt. Aaron's friends even called her Aunt Carrie.
I felt so comfortable with her around. I felt like she got me.
Then, she moved again. This time, her life was right on track. She was "moving up" with her career and they moved her to the farthest side of Florida away from me.
Selfishly, I resented the move and her progress.
I didn't want to lose her.
I didn't want to miss her.
But I do.
Now, she's facing new challenges. An evil illness. One I've had tear parts of my family up.
She's strong, though. She has gained strength, and she has found love.
And to God I am thankful that His Hands can reach her.
I pray she feels Him beside her,
especially since I can't be.........physically.
I LOVE MY CARRIE!
